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The Slice: Shadow and substance: Your New Year’s Eve guide

December 25, 2017 GMT

I refuse to take all the blame.

The fact that First Night Spokane has struggled is not totally my fault. Just because The Slice has been obsessed with the New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day “Twilight Zone” marathon over the years doesn’t mean I am the reason more people have not come downtown for First Night.

That said, I want First Night to thrive. So, in that spirit, I hereby suggest you skip the TZ marathon and come downtown on New Year’s Eve. In fact, I’ll even tell you what you’ll miss if you turn off your TV and heroically bestir yourself.

Here are a few of the classic “Twilight Zone” episodes scheduled for the upcoming marathon.

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“The Obsolete Man”: A graying editor shows his mystified granddaughter a print newspaper.

“Stopover in a Quiet Town”: Visit Spokane’s latest tourism promotion.

“Nightmare at 20,000 Feet”: The heavy breathing conspiracy theorist in the next seat wants to talk.

“The Old Man in the Cave”: A 30-minute exploration of the Paul Turner lifestyle.

“The Monsters are Due on Maple Street”: Marmots want a few words with real estate developers, and this time it’s personal.

“The Dummy”: There’s a signpost up ahead, “This way to the City Council meeting.”

“A Stop at Willoughby”: A harried advertising executive mulls his options and decides to throw himself off a train in 1974 Spokane.

“People Are Alike All Over”: An analysis of voting patterns in Eastern Washington, Alabama, Oklahoma and Utah.

“The Shelter”: After buying a house, a South Hill couple discover there’s something buried in the backyard.

“Living Doll”: Archer Maggott vs. Talky Tina in a cage match for the ages. “I hate you.”

“The Howling Man”: When your husband from Montana turns out to be part wolf.

“The Little People”: “Hello, City Hall? My street didn’t get plowed.”

“The Midnight Sun”: Story of a lawyer who went to the lake and never came back.

“The Lonely”: A convict confronts his isolation with the help of a fetching robot and a North Idaho lifestyle.

“It’s a Good Life”: The neighbor’s kid isn’t just annoying, he also possesses supernatural powers.

“Hocus Pocus and Frisby”: Store owner uses harmonica to fend off anal probing by aliens.

“To Serve Man”: Things take an unexpected turn in the Wednesday S-R food section.

Today’s Slice question: What are you usually doing at the exact moment when one year transitions into the next?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Boxing Day has nothing to do with saying “Cut me, Mick.”

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