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Don’t expect farmers to be at games this time of year

October 18, 2018 GMT

There are some things you don’t say to a farmer at harvest time. This fall that policy applies more than ever. Here are a few questions it’s best not to ask a farmer in the fall if you want to stay on friendly terms:

1. How much do you have left to harvest? Right now, most farmers have about 90 percent of their crops still in the field. They don’t need to be reminded of it. Don’t ask about their progress. It’s not going so good.

2. What are you getting per bushel of corn these days? Remember when corn was about $7 per bushel? That was six years ago. Now it’s at about $3 per bushel. Don’t bring up the price or corn or soybeans.

3. If harvest is late, why not use two combines? Combines run upwards from about $300,000 each. Unless you hire someone else to combine your fields, you have to make payments on this monstrous piece of machinery that’s only used about two months a year. Of course a farmer would love five combines to get the crop out of the field as quickly as possible, but that isn’t going to happen.

Don’t give a farmer advice about their combines.

4. Was that a pile of corn I saw in your harvested field? Yes, dang it. Someone turned the auger on the combine when they weren’t supposed to, and it got poured onto the ground instead of in a wagon. It’s a sore subject. Don’t bring it up.

5. Are you planning on going to the golf tournament, volleyball game, wedding or anniversary party next Saturday? We are way behind harvesting the crop. Of course, he’s not going anywhere. Don’t remind him.

6. Do you think the bathroom faucet needs adjusting? Sure, it might need adjusting. The car’s oil may need changing. The roof may have a hole in it too but it’s all going to have to wait until after harvest. Live with it.

7. Did you hear that it’s supposed to be a snowier than normal winter? Maybe the farmer heard that and maybe he didn’t, but he would rather not think about that right now. In fact, it’s best right now not to even say the “s” word.

8. What do you think of that Husker football team? No one, including farmers, wants to talk about the Husker football season. Let’s not bring it up right now.

9. Is that corn dust in your hair? No, it’s gold dust. Of course it’s corn dust, soybean dust, field dirt and who knows what else. We aren’t striving for cleanest person on the farm here, and we don’t have time to worry about it. Go make neat and clean conversation with a librarian.

10. Don’t you love fall? OK, most farmers do love fall, but not when fall works against you like this time of year with an early snowfall.

So now you know that conversation right now with farmers can be a little tricky. Best thing to do is to keep your mouth shut when you run into a farmer in church or in line at the parts counter. You can talk when the corn is in the bin.