You Can Be Mad at Someone in Heaven but Should Learn to Forgive
Dear Bonnie: I seem to have a lot of anger with the passing of my father. I think I am angry with myself for listening to his suggestions and not living a fulfilling life. I think he wanted to keep me safe from the world, but I grew up very sheltered and now afraid to live life, and often feel lonely. Can you be mad at someone in heaven? Sheila.
Dear Sheila: I give a lot of readings where a child is angry at a parent. It’s a tough one because they are not physically here to talk things over with. Children can be holding on to the thought, “I wish I could do it all over again. I would speak up this time or take a stand about something I didn’t believe in.” They have a regret. “I should have, could have, done something different or spoken up about the injustice that was placed with me.” They feel they could have been stronger and spoken their truth when they had the chance.
It’s OK to feel this way, but it’s good to try and let go of these pent-up feelings.
Some children can be resentful for having lived through the divorce of their parents, while others feel abandoned by a mother or father who had left them, either mentally or physically. The reasons can go on and on. It’s OK to know that your feelings are your feelings and you have every right to them.
What you do need to know is that if you suppress those feelings deep inside of you, where you cannot see them on occasion, they will pop back out at you. It’s like looking at the face of a clock. If there’s a problem at two o’clock and it doesn’t get fixed, the hand will keep going around and around again but it always will end up back at two.
If the problem doesn’t find a way to resolve itself and you haven’t fixed it, then it will be hanging around until the next time. In other words, we need to come to peace with troubles or resentment or they are going to stick around.
Now that we know our feelings are not going to be dismissed, we need to fix them so we can flush them out of our systems. How do we do that when the person we are mad at is no longer here? One way is to have a conversation with the person in heaven that you have the grievance with. You say, “Well, that’s not so easy,” but isn’t it? Our loved ones are always with us, whether we are mad at them or not. They know your thoughts! Go to a medium that you trust to have that conversation with you. From spirit, through spirit, to spirit.
You can have an actual conversation with a medium, or take it upon yourself to start the conversation in your own space. Sit in a quiet area, a place where you can meditate and be alone with your thoughts. Take a piece of paper and write down your regrets or grievances, and be honest with yourself. Sit and think about what you would say if they were here now. Believe me, they can hear you. Try to forgive them, as it helps not only them but you.
Please remember that after they passed, they had a life review to see where they could have done better with you, so go easy on them because they have regrets also. In heaven, only the love shines through for us.
It sounds like your dad was full of love for you here and wanted to keep you from harm’s way. Take control of your life now that he no longer has any influence on you, and live life to its fullest. Your life now is yours to do with exactly as you would like. Let go of the past. Now is your time.
Bonnie Page is a psychic medium. She is available for private readings in her Healing and Learning Center, at 272 Central St., Leominster, or via telephone at (978) 297-9790. If you would like to ask Bonnie a question for her column, please email email@example.com .