Plans to attend bachelor party cause man’s girlfriend angst
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of two years will be attending a bachelor party in Las Vegas. We’ve never had any issues of infidelity, yet I can’t help but feel anxious about his upcoming trip. I know the scene that exists in Vegas -- I’m in my mid-20s and I enjoyed my trips there when I was younger and single.
I’m worried about him and his friends going to strip clubs, topless pool parties, etc. I don’t mind him enjoying a trip and going out with the boys, but I think attending an event with nudity is disrespectful to the other person when you’re in a long-term, serious relationship. I don’t want him to feel he has to tell his friends he can’t go to those things. What are your thoughts on this? -- WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS ...
DEAR WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS: You and your boyfriend are both adults. Viewing topless entertainment or attending a topless pool party is not infidelity. If he hasn’t given you any reason to worry so far, give him the benefit of the doubt.
P.S. By the way, I have heard that some bachelorette parties can be equally wild. Do you plan to swear off them yourself?
DEAR ABBY: My wife hates Facebook. She has always hated it and never signed up. I have had an account since the site began and maintain many connections with friends, family members who live far away, old teachers -- even my in-laws. I don’t discuss it with my wife much because it makes her angry.
I’m not constantly on it, and it’s not like I’m doing anything bad. But if she hears from a friend about a funny or insightful comment I made on Facebook, we end up getting into a huge argument because she insists I have to delete my account. The argument always ends with her saying, “You will delete it because I hate it!”
I don’t want to delete my Facebook page, and I hate arguing with my wife. What should I do? -- “LIKES” FACEBOOK IN RALEIGH, N.C.
DEAR “LIKES” FACEBOOK: Try to get to the bottom of why she finds your staying in touch with these people threatening, because it appears you married someone who is very controlling. She is your spouse, not your jailer. If you want to participate in social media, continue to do so.
Although you didn’t mention it, I can’t help but wonder if her jealousy and possessiveness have affected other areas of your life. If that’s the case, talk about it with a licensed marriage and family therapist before it drives the two of you apart. If she won’t go with you, go alone.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a doctor. I give free medical advice to my cousin and her mother several times a month, and have for quite some time now. I do it free of charge because we are family and there’s a close bond between us.
My cousin works in marketing, so I asked her if she could help me design my presentation card. She replied that she would give me three designs to choose from, and it would cost roughly $100. I feel it’s wrong for her to charge me for her service since I’ve never charged her. -- FREE OF CHARGE IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR FREE OF CHARGE: It’s possible your cousin was asking to be reimbursed for the cost of the MATERIALS involved in creating the cards for you. Before you allow yourself to get into a snit, perhaps you should clarify exactly what you would be paying for.