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On The Light Side

January 4, 1989

LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) _ Golfers entering the ″Arctic Open″ might get a few extra yards of skid on their drives and they certainly won’t have to worry about a water hazard: They’ll be playing on top of one.

The Jan. 28-29 open will be played on the frozen fairways of Wehrspann Lake at the Chalco Hills Recreation Area. A nine-hole golf course has been laid out on the lake.

The Omaha Suburban Rotary Club hopes the tournament will raise $20,000 for scholarships for handicapped high school students, said club member Lyle Sapp. Anything more will be used to help the homeless, Meals on Wheels program, and the Henry Doorly Zoo, he said.

The tournament will benefit wildlife, too.

When the ice melts, discarded Christmas trees, which will set the fairway borders, will sink into the lake to provide habitat for fish and other aquatic species.

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OLYMPIA, Wash. (AP) - Meet ERL and FRED, two new wild and crazy acronyms that are rolling off the tongues of state officials like winter fog off Puget Sound.

ERL stands for ″essential requirement level,″ that is: the amount of money absolutely needed to pay for state government.

FRED, who has far less status on the Capitol Campus than ERL, is short for ″fraud early detection″ of welfare chiselers, one of Gov. Booth Gardner’s many programs that are supposed to save money eventually.

ERL and FRED are two new creations of state government word-manglers, who are busy mangling as usual, especially when talk turns to taxing and spending. This year, they’ve added a few new ones to the idiom of Washington’s capital.

Along with ERL and FRED, ″Budget Driver″ is roaming the halls of the Legislature and skidding across budget documents. Clearly, FRED could be one of Budget Driver’s many passengers this year while ERL would supply the fuel.

A Budget Driver, by the way, is defined as any major demand on the state treasury that is growing due to factors beyond anybody’s control, like population growth.

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CHICAGO (AP) - Resolutions for a skinny new year were taken seriously by more than 30 people who attended a clinic at the University of Illinois Physicians Office.

The clinic offered a free body analysis to people willing to hook themselves up to electrodes on Tuesday.

The participants, ranging from age 20 to 60, allowed doctors to apply metallic tape and clips to a hand and a foot so they could measure their body fat.

″A lot of people make a vow to themselves at the beginning of the year to lose weight, and especially coming off the holidays,″ said Mike Maggio, spokesman for the University of Illinois Hospital.

″It’s a time for New Year’s resolutions ... and coming off the goodies,″ Maggio said.

The electrodes send electric currents through the skin to measure the amount of tissue resistance, said Dr. Georgia Andrianopoulos, a director of the program.

Because fat tissue conducts less than muscle tissue, doctors can use the electrodes to calculate the percentage of body fat. They also can determine the number of calories a person should consume to lower the fat ratio.

But does it hurt?

″Not at all,″ said Pam Gaidelis, 23, one of those who waited in line. ″I was kind of scared seeing all the electrodes, but you can’t feel anything.″

Ms. Gaidelis said she already lost 40 pounds on her own through diet and exercise, but is looking for a way to keep the fat off.

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