The Bet Box: Storm blows through Foxboro
Hurricane Brady blew through Foxboro last week, followed closely by Tropical Storm Belichick.
And, yup, it caused quite a disturbance.
Now calm has settled back in at Gillette Stadium, unless you’re Malcolm Butler and Alan Branch. They got blown aside in all that B&B fury like a pair of puppy dogs being trained where to take a poop.
And that’s not anywhere near Patriots Way!
One victory does not a Super Bowl season make, though it sure can quiet the nerves of B&B, even if Butler and Branch might be wondering about that old figure-skating refrain of old: “Why me?”
It wasn’t just that the two veterans were being held up as no-show game-day criminals for all the rookies and first-year Pats to see and fear. Goes much deeper. It has been learned that benchings affected nearing all parts of the Belichickian bombast.
According to unidentified parking lot attendants who required anonymity, also getting sacked for undetermined lengths were two defensive assistants (not named Belichick), three ball boys, the guy who wires the head sets, a pair of water boys and Ernie Adams. They all got whacked with some sort of banishment as the Belichick/Brady category 5 storm raged through the locker room spouting all kinds of spit before last Sunday’s victory in New Orleans eased the tension.
Belichick was almost ready to pull out his Trump card, too, and ban certain members of the media he simply does not like, which, of course, means just about everybody. However, sources did say Bill suspended for one week the Channel 7 news crew from going anywhere near the Patriots Pro Shop and asking fans “What’s wrong with the Pats?”
Yes, it was that kind of week, B&B spewing fire like a “Game Of Thrones” dragon, and the other B&B (Butler & Branch) getting burnt for all to see.
Well, one thing may be certain on Sunday: “Houston, you have a problem.”
This Is The Year!
Houston at Patriots (-131/2) — With sanity restored and Tommy Boy selling his book on the side, let’s turn down the Watt-age and enjoy a leisurely afternoon. Pats, 30-12.
Baltimore (-4) vs. Jacksonville — London calling. Blokes, take in a few sites, have an afternoon cup of tea and keep your head up. Oh yeah, football. Ravens, 23-13.
Cleveland (-11/2) at Indianapolis — Why isn’t this a Thursday night special disaster? Browns, 12-10.
Pittsburgh (-7) at Chicago — Steelers looking good, Bears looking as usual. Steelers, 30-17.
Miami (-6) at NY Jets — Look out! Here come the Jay Cutler Dolphins. The AFC East Pats may have a challenger. May. Dolphins, 24-16.
Denver (-3) at Buffalo — The Broncos are destined for greatness . . . in Buffalo, anyway. Broncos, 27-9.
New Orleans at Carolina (-5) — When he gets to free agency after this season, it’s time to move on, Drew Brees. Panthers, 26-17.
Tampa Bay at Minnesota (-11/2) — Sam Bradford supposedly will quarterback the Vikes. Big deal. Buccaneers, 20-13.
Atlanta (-3) at Detroit — What Super Bowl hangover? Falcons, 28-3.
NY Giants at Philadelphia (-6) — The Giants won’t take a huge beating like last week against Detroit but a beating they will take. Eagles, 24-20.
Seattle at Tennessee (-3) — The Seahawks are one of the most corrupt teams in the league and have never truly paid for it. On the field, they certainly are starting to. And Richard Sherman is taking all bets. Titans, 28-14.
Kansas City (-3) at LA Chargers — Good move, Chargers. You can’t even sell out the 30,000-seat soccer stadium you’re playing in. What a joke. The team, too. Get back to San Diego, quick! Chiefs, 31-19.
Cincinnati at Green Bay (-9) — The Bengals did not score a touchdown in two losses at home. Enough said. Packers, 24-0.
Oakland (-3) at Washington — One of this week’s nine home underdogs gotta win. Make Washington great again. Redskins, 17-16.
Dallas (-3) at Arizona — Limping out of Denver after a blowout loss, the Cowboys go crawling home out of the desert. Water, please. Cardinals, 27-24.
Last week: 7-9-0