What are 3 non-person things you’re thankful for?

November 22, 2018

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, a day to reflect on the past year and count our blessings. Here are “The Top Things You’re Thankful for This Thanksgiving”:

Nobody knows what else you do with the turkey baster.Jean shorts with an extra pocket for your vape pen.Not being the publicist for Megyn Kelly or Roseanne Barr.For still having time left before Jeff Bezos implants the tracking chip in our wrists.Politically correct coworkers haven’t started making you call it, “African-American Friday” . . . yet.You’re too old to understand or care what Cardi B is saying.You only had to buy three new iPhones this year.Anti-vaxxers bringing back those hip, retro diseases.Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande will not breed.The fact that every TV show you ever liked, will be back on the air soon in a reboot.Family, friends, and anything wrapped in bacon.

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