Churchill: Answers to the hard questions you didn’t ask
As we wait for another ball of sleaze to be accused of sexual harassment, I thought it would be a good time to answer reader questions that would be real if only readers had cared enough about my opinion to actually ask them.
They didn’t, sadly. Details, details.
Let’s get to the questions!
What was Albany Mayor Kathy Sheehan doing on the Tucker Carlson show Thursday night?
— Roy L. Payne, South Delmar
Excellent question, Roy. I’m glad you didn’t ask.
I would never go on Carlson’s show, because I would lose my concentration and start giggling the second he hit me with his patented confused face.
Also, he tends to tear his guests to shreds.
But Sheehan held her own as she debated Carlson on sanctuary cities, allowing the Fox News host who used to wear bow ties to land only one nasty zinger. “It’s hard to take a lecture from you about the Constitution,” he said.
But to answer your question, Roy, it could be that Sheehan simply wanted to defend the liberal view on sanctuary cities. Or maybe she’s trying to boost her national profile ahead of that rumored run for Congress.
Or perhaps every other mayor in the country refused to go on.
Does Albany have a chance to land the new Amazon headquarters?
— Joe King, East Albany
Ha-ha! Good one, Joe.
Oh, wait. You were serious? Well, let me put it this way: Is Donald Trump a candidate for Mount Rushmore?
Was Kirsten Gillibrand courageous to say Bill Clinton should have resigned during the Monica Lewinsky scandal?
— Buck Nekkid, Ballston River
It might have been courageous if she had said it in 2006, when Bill Clinton endorsed Gillibrand’s congressional candidacy and even came to Colonie to campaign for her.
Or 10 years later, in 2016, when Gillibrand again stood with Clinton in Colonie as both campaigned for Hillary ahead of the state primary.
But to say it now, when the Clinton Political Complex is in ruins? No courage required.
Which doesn’t mean that Gillibrand isn’t right, however belatedly, or that the scandals and accusations of the Clinton presidency don’t deserve a harsh reassessment from Democrats who glossed over his many sins.
Why is everybody so mean to Andrew Cuomo?
— Lucy Guci, Halfmoon Park
It’s a real head-scratcher, Lucy, given that Cuomo is such a lovable muffin. But something about our governor’s warmth and humility seems to rub haters the wrong way.
The latest example came Thursday, when New York’s Republican members of Congress reacted with anger to one of Cuomo’s adorable little mistruths.
“I never believed I’d be living in a state with an outright liar as governor,” said Rep. Tom Reed of Corning, upon learning that Cuomo had claimed to have spoken with all of the “treasonous” New York Republicans who had voted for the tax bill.
Reed and others said they had never spoken with the cuddly Democrat.
“It’s just an outright lie by a liar in the governor’s mansion,” Reed told the New York Times. “To me, that is very troublesome. For a man who is trying to run for president of the United States to stoop to that moral character is troublesome, to say the least.”
Not to worry, Tom. This country would never stand for low moral character in the White House.
If Troy is the new Brooklyn and Cohoes is the new Queens, does that make Albany the new Manhattan and Schenectady the new Staten Island?
— Don Drumpf, Mohawk Falls
If mice are the new cats and cats are the new rabbits, then dogs are certainly the new elephants and giraffes are the new unicorns. Got it?
Last year, just after Hillary’s loss, I got into a huge fight with my Trump-loving relatives on Thanksgiving, and Uncle Earl stormed out of the house with the turkey. Will it be safe to talk politics this year?
— Louise Jefferson, Lathamville
I am happy to say that the era of division is over and, yes, it is finally safe to talk politics on Thanksgiving, so long as you stay away from a few of the more controversial buzzwords and topics. Here’s a handy list:
Republicans, Democrats, independents, the NFL, Trump, Hillary, statues, politicians who look for dates at the mall, Russians, guns, Obamacare, dossiers, Columbus Day, comedians who starred on Saturday Night Live before being elected to the Senate, Keurigs, groping, Frankenstein, Eminem, the American flag, Hollywood, emails, Gregg Popovich, Al Gore, uranium, Robert E. Lee, things that are crooked, Alabama, spray tans, global warming, the FBI, Twitter, the mainstream media, enemies of the people, Crazy Mika, taxes, Pocahontas, Jimmy Kimmel, Kid Rock, Taylor Swift and the color orange.
Hope that helps! Should be easy, right?
Whew. Those were some tough questions. Thank you to everybody who didn’t send one of the ones I answered.
As always, I welcome real comments and questions. Send them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.