Michael Goldman: What I Know That You Should Too
By Michael Goldman
I know for an absolute fact that if only 50 percent of what Michael Cohen told Congress under oath is true, than Donald Trump is by far the most corrupt individual ever to occupy the Oval Office.
I know for an absolute fact that Raymond L. Wallace, the harmless prankster who created the Big Foot hoax back in 1958, and who died in 2003, would love that thousands of people still traipse around the Northwest woods every year looking for his nonexistent creation, while Dr. Andrew Wakefield, the now de-licensed British doctor who started the autism vaccination hoax in 1998 by falsifying the results of his medical research, deserves to have received a life sentence for all the harm his still believed fraudulent study has inflicted on thousands of innocent children.
I know for an absolute fact that until he walked up the steps of Air Force One this past Monday, there was at least a 50-50 possibility that President Donald Trump would suffer a 1960s flashback, and refuse to go to Vietnam because of a sudden recurrence of his infamous 1968 “bone spurs” dodge, which helped him avoid service during that long ago war.
I know for an absolute fact that 26 former elected Republican congressmen and senators and 58 former national-security officials were spot on in advising Congress to reject the bogus claim that there is a national emergency taking place along the southern border of the U.S.
I know for an absolute fact that the fabulous Pew Research Center recently revealed a survey that showed it was stress and anxiety and not drugs or bullying that were the chief concerns among our nation’s teens.
I know for an absolute fact that the largest health-care conglomerates and the most powerful Insurance companies are girding their loins in an effort to kill any Medicare-for-all initiative.
I know for an absolute fact that despite their best and most aggressive efforts, large news organizations like the New York Times, the Washington Post, and my old employer, Bloomberg News are often stonewalled by the White House press office in their efforts to get even the most tepid reaction to a major news story of the day, in part so the White House can label it unfair, inaccurate, or fake news.
I know for an absolute fact that the thing that Adolf Hitler dreaded most was comedian Charlie Chaplin mocking him in the movies, and the thing that Donald Trump’s hates most is Saturday Night Live making fun of him on television. The point: authoritarian figures are more afraid of people laughing at them than anything else.
I know for an absolute fact that very, very soon the federal courts will rule that everyone who works for the Trump White House can no longer be forced into signing illegal NDA’s (non-disclosure agreements) as a condition of employment.
I know for an absolute fact that that there is no wall currently being built by this administration on the southern border of the U.S., or on the northern border of the U.S., nor will there be there any wall built on either border any time soon.
I know for an absolute fact that the saddest and dumbest thing the Trump administration has done in its two-plus years in office is not there recent bizarre North Korean giveaway deal in which Kim Jong-un got everything he wanted and we got nothing in return, but rather the new Trump Ad Hoc anti-science/anti-global warming commission made up of people the rest of the world considers kooks and outcasts.
I know for an absolute fact that Donald Trump knows the Mueller Report is merely the tip of the iceberg and his worst days in the court of public opinion are ahead of him.
Finally, I know for an absolute fact that Donald Trump’s recent pronouncement that he is planning a large fireworks display at the Lincoln Memorial on Fourth of July, 2019, with himself as the keynote speaker means that Washington will most likely be a virtual ghost town this July 4 for the first time in decades.
Hey, now you know all this good stuff too!
Michael Goldman is a paid political consultant for Democratic candidates and president of Goldman Associates. He is a frequent contributor to this newspaper.