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Dave’s Dummy: Meditation Didn’t Help

February 20, 2018 GMT

Dave’s Dummy of the Day is a guy named Siosifa Lolohea who broke into a police department in Orem, Utah early last Saturday morning by throwing two empty vodka bottles through a glass door.

And after he got inside, our dummy sat down on the floor and started MEDITATING until they showed up in the lobby to arrest him. The building was locked up for the night, but apparently several cops were still there doing paperwork.

He admitted he drank both bottles of vodka before chucking them through the glass door, and said he was there looking for JESUS. (???) His pupils were dilated, and he wouldn’t stop sweating. So they think he was on drugs too.

According to police, he got pretty upset with them for interrupting his meditation session.

It’s not clear why he wanted to meditate in the lobby of a police department. But he walked right by a doorbell. So he didn’t really need to break in.

He’s facing charges for criminal mischief, criminal trespass, and drugs.