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The Slice: Golden oldies vs. contemporary hits

April 28, 2017 GMT

It’s somewhat alarming, for those of us of a certain age, to hear what much younger people regard as “an old song.”

But it’s all relative, right?

Let’s move on.

Signs of spring fever: “A fresh coat of toenail polish and new flip-flops,” wrote Cathy Rubow of Hayden.

Slice answer: Keith Hegg’s story doesn’t concern a ludicrous business expense submitted for reimbursement. It’s about an insurance matter.

“In filling out an insurance claim many years ago, but still when I was a full grown adult, I listed a ‘fart machine’ as being stolen along with the comment, ‘I’m serious.’ ”

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He received payment for same as part of the claim settlement.

The device, not to be confused with a whoopee cushion, was a remote controlled sound effects emitter. It could be taped under office chairs, et cetera, and activated from a distance.

“Immature but quite hilarious,” said Keith.

He used it to terrorize fellow employees as well as boys who had come to visit his daughters.

“It was kind of a check on how seriously people take themselves. My wife just called it immature.”

National Outdoor Intercourse Day: Slice reader John Weisenburger noted that it’s coming up on May 8.

He wrote that this occasion is said to have originated at what was then Eastern Washington State College or at Washington State University in the early 1970s.

Of course, I can remember hearing it began at Western Washington University.

If you know the real story, please file a report.

Today’s First World problem: “My 1981 sailboat has quite a stack of yearly decals,” said Verlyn Retzer. “I have no idea how to get them off without damaging the fiberglass. I bet some of your smart readers have the same problem but know what to do about it.”

He said the stack of decals could now be thicker than the hull itself and might not come off without compromising the vessel’s structural integrity.

What people talk about in real life: “I used eggs number 13 and 14 in a carton of 24 this morning at breakfast,” wrote my friend Florence Young. “So far they have all had double yolks.”

Today’s Slice question: Have you ever been in the kitchen unloading groceries and unwittingly put your phone in the freezer?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. If “The Graduate” were remade 50 years later, what word would replace “plastics”?