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Dave’s Dummy: Blame Game

August 29, 2018

Dave’s Dummy of the Day comes from Louisville, Kentucky, where dummy Michael Lorenzo walked into the Family Dollar with the intent of shoplifting a pair of socks.

Somewhere along the way, something went wrong and he attracted the attention of a store employee who called the cops. Feeling “antagonized” by the clerk, our dummy then grabbed 99 packs of Pokemon cards and some chopped ham and stuffed it down his pants.

He had just exited the store when the cops arrived. The cops didn’t buy his excuse that the clerk had made him steal the items just “out of spite.” He’s busted!