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Press release content from Globe Newswire. The AP news staff was not involved in its creation.
PRESS RELEASE: Paid content from Globe Newswire
Press release content from Globe Newswire. The AP news staff was not involved in its creation.

Northwest Registered Agent Reaches Kicking Unicorn Status

January 3, 2022 GMT

SPOKANE, Wash., Jan. 03, 2022 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) -- Northwest Registered Agent today announced it has achieved Kicking Unicorn status, a new classification for billion-dollar company valuations. A Kicking Unicorn is a privately-owned company valued at 1 billion dollars or more that has no investors and no debt.

“2021 was a watershed year for our company,” said Odinn Mimir, Senior VP of the PromulGater, Northwest’s cutting edge entity management platform. “We had very little employee turnover, improved our client satisfaction, improved our employee benefits, breached the 550 employee mark, and carefully navigated the pandemic one day at a time—all with no investors demanding growth and returns on their investments. That was the seed from which the Kicking Unicorn grew.” The Kicking Unicorn is a new status symbol highlighting stability and doing business the right way versus growth at all costs.

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Kicking Unicorn  companies resemble the Unicornis—otherwise known as “Common Unicorns”—but Kicking Unicorns do not rely on angel investors, seed investors, venture capitalists, debt financing, Series G funding, or IPOs. A Kicking Unicorn’s 1 billion dollar valuation, moreover, is projected based on the company’s current finances and the company saying it’s worth 1 billion dollars because it says so, while valuations for the standard common Unicorn are determined by investors saying what the company might be worth after their investment repayment term comes due many years later—because a bunch of investors said so.

As the world’s first Kicking Unicorn,  Northwest Registered Agent hopes to inspire like-minded companies to claim Kicking Unicorn status and help promote an image of success that is fiscally responsible and customer and employee-centric—not obsessed with rapid growth, IPOs, acquisitions, or buy-outs designed mainly to benefit investors. “We’d rather clean port-o-potties than do business like that,” said Mimir. “Not wiping them down. That would suck. But if we could just stick the long pipe in the hole and suck it out—we’d rather do that.”

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“Right,” said Narwal, Northwest’s Senior VP of Finance and a key Thought Leader in the creation of the Kicking Unicorn. “There really are ways to run a next-level company without duping your employees and stakeholders into selling their souls—only to see their shares get diluted to the point of worthlessness with each new round of investment paying for the previous years of blowing the last cash infusion. Taking care of customers. Treating employees right. All of that should be cause for excitement, too.”

Northwest is confident that some day the world will realize that doing good work year after year is more newsworthy than announcing debt financing rounds and making investors rich—and at that point the Kicking Unicorn’s rare, near-mythical status might become newsworthy, too. Until then, said Narwal, “Our Head Maintenance Engineer is feverishly installing an attaboy shelf at our headquarters, and we’re hoping to pay some super-fringe trade group magazine to give us a ‘best of’ award to place right next to our Kicking Unicorn trophy.”

About Northwest Registered Agent
Northwest Registered Agent is a national Corporate Guide Service with offices in every state. Northwest is famous among literally no one—and when we say no one, we mean not one person—for 100% bootstrapping its way to having over 2 million active subscriptions and throwing down twice as many filings as the famous websites every month, all without a single employee with “marketing” in their job title. Northwest takes pride in its commitment to Privacy by Default®, which ensures that client data is never sold—ever. That’s doing business the right way.

Media Contact
Odinn Mimir
pr@northwestregisteredagent.com